<insert mildly exotic greeting here, optionally tuned to a festival, season, start or end of semester, or aligned with any other significant event>

Thanks for <something about pageviews or favourites or any other thankyous, be sure to include some arbitrary "landmark" number>

<insert mildly amusing semi made up anecdote from everyday life>
Can you believe it? Those crazy <stereotype>s! <insert emoticon here>

<insert optional uninformed political rant here>

I haven't been able to update much because of <convenient lie>, but I'm sure to <another lie> in the future!

That's all for now, just felt like keeping you informed about what's been keeping me busy.
Have a nice <time of the year>!

<insert quote from internet phenomenon of the week>

Cheers,
- MK